Is Fear of Finishing Real?
For those of you who have been with me from the beginning of my blogging and writing this year, you know that I am writing a book; Humbled on Purpose, publishing October, 2024 via Ripples Media. Remember when I hit 20,000 words? Well, I am at 38,000 and I need to leave room for accolades and a forward, etc, etc. So now I am essentially done. I am in the editting stage and I have a deadline of August 2 that I absolutely have to hit to get it published by my desired publish date of October 5th.
I’m excited, but that is not the strongest emotion that I am feeling which is surprising to me. I am embarrassed to say that I am a bit afraid to hit the send button to my publisher. I am a feeling like a bit of a chicken. I know that ultimately I won’t chicken out, but it has crossed my mind. I am re-reading every word and beginning to wonder how so and so will think about this or how so and so will take this when they read it. I am second guessing every word that I bravely wrote last month and 2 months ago and 3 months ago. Is this normal, I wonder to myself?
I also wonder if this is a female thing. You know is it related to the statistics like the fact that guys will apply for a job if they meet 60% of the qualifications and women don’t apply if they don’t meet 100%. Would a guy just assume their book is great and press send? Is this a case where I just need to put my big girl pants on and go for it? Is Sheryl Sandberg out there, could she call me and tell me to Lean In and get busy?
Maybe I should go in the other room and turn on NBC and watch some Olympic stories of overcoming obstacles. My little worries don’t compare to Wolverine Frederick Richard, Simone Biles, Suni Lee or Jordan Chiles.
There we go, Jordan Chiles who just missed making the all around competition by some one hundredth of a point to Suni Lee who overcame 2 kidney diseases to battle back to the Olympics, and the reason both of them couldn’t make it is because the US can only have two athletes.
Wow. I should just get back to writing becuase I have no problems at all. I just returned from Honduras, I should already know that I really have no problems, for goodness sake, I have clean water and can flush my toilet paper so just finish the book, would you?
Plus, how am ever going to write book number 2 if I can’t push send on book number 1, much less books number 3 and 4 which are already planned as well because I really LOVE this writing thing that I rediscovered at the spry age of 61.
My friend Jo Ann Herold, who is already a best selling author is more motivated for me to get my book out than she is for her to publish her second book because she is certain it will change my life for the better and she wants me to tell my story.
So I’m going to stop blogging and get back to writing. I don’t want to be like the man who spent ten years writing his great American novel and then had to Fed Ex it to the publisher so that he met his deadline. That would be crazy. Crazier than being half done with your book in February and then rushing to finish in late July, right?
I am going to finish strong! Wish me luck. Oh yeah, and GO USA!